How do you make God laugh?
Tell him your plans.
(Woody Allen)
I used to command vast armies. I caused empires to rise and fall. People would seek my opinion, ask for strategies to be developed, ideas drawn up, innovation implemented. Papers would be written, actions agreed, plans executed. There would be many important strokey beard meetings. My word would be law. I could ask for tasks to be done. I could delegate everything. I could insist that things could be done. Staff respected me. Staff loathed me. Staff could not ignore me. I was a GOD (well, not really of course, sort of a quite important manager for that particular organisation. In my head.)
I remember well, walking around a large site with a colleague on a warm summer's afternoon in one such role. We were both directors, me running the ordering of paper clips, highlighter pens, staplers (why do organisations need to order so many staplers, what do staff do with them?) and other such important and essential parts of Consolidated HeeHaws output and him, swearing loudly and profanely at any employee who was unfortunate to come into his gaze. He kept the operation on track through instilling abject fear and projecting a sense of barely restrained violence. Things were good. The business was humming. Output was outputting in an orderly way. No members of staff had been noted fighting so far that day, a rare occurrence, and no drug dealing was evident. We knew we'd got a dysfunctional business fixed. Mostly.
We were being paid the highest salaries we'd ever earned with good annual bonuses on top.
He turned to me and said 'Do you realise this is probably the best it will get?'
Damn it, he jinxed it at that point. At that exact moment.
Within months the business was up for sale, he'd run off with a secretary then had a breakdown, all the senior management team was made redundant by the MD, who turned into a total corporate monster, but who in turn was also made redundant followed by his wife leaving him. Ha. Karma.
No Happy Endings in sunlit uplands here.
But life goes on and I made my way, slowly back up the corporate ladder, then back down, then up. Sort of career snakes and ladders but with more snakes.
I was there and now I'm here.
Back in work. But now I sweep the streets I used to own (thank you ColdPlay for the lyrics). Anyway, after 12 months unemployment I decided that intelligent capitulation was in order and accepted a job that is somewhat distant from the management position I was in the way that Voyager 1 is now somewhat distant from earth. I’m not prideful. I’ll do it. Am doing it.
Naturally there are upsides;
Some money. Not a lot. 50% less than I was earning but I do have an occupational pension so no financial issues.
No staff.
15 minute drive to work
Able to turn brain off on arrival.
Everything is above my pay grade.
No work gets brought home.
I start and finish exactly on time.
Naturally there are downsides;
Able to turn brain off on arrival.
Everything is above my pay grade.
I work in what I will describe as a robust adult environment, 'jokes' repeated ad nauseum and constant laddish bants. After three weeks it has become...irritating.
The job is dull. But I knew it would be and still accepted it so no complaining, all down to me.
But...it's been hard. It is many years since I've had to do administrative work, actual detailed admin stuff. In fact I can't remember ever really doing it. For years I've been a manager, a leader, delegating all these tasks and then ravelling it all together into strategic papers or action plans and then delegating it all over again. I mean in my last job I had Bob to do all this stuff. Bob loved doing the stuff. But me actually doing it...did I mention it's been hard? It's quite surprised me and I've made a fair few rookie errors, much to the frustration of management. Who is, basically, pretty much everyone else.
In a perverse way, and it is very strange feeling as being at home day after day is not the most rewarding way to spend one's life, I miss the freedom of being unemployed and the exercise I was getting daily, though I think I'd explored every possible route to walk around where I live. Many times. Many, many times.
I've never had a job before where I actually work 9 to 5. As in leave on the stoke of 5. Previous ones have always been 'whatever it takes' and generally I've been happy to work the hours until, of course, I get made redundant and then I think 'So why did I bother then how come I got fooled all over again?'
Thing is you have to recognise when you have a tailwind and when you have a headwind. Especially if you need to go to the loo.
Change always means gaining something and losing something.
Brain the size of a planet as Marvin the paranoid android might muse and opening doors.
No comments:
Post a Comment