I won’t eat KitKats, Dairy Milk and Mars Bars I eschew,
Eclairs, cream puffs and profiteroles I’ll hand straight back to you,
I want to keep myself quite fit, I’m really not a fake,
Oh no someone’s handed me my favourite kind of cake.
I work so hard at staying slim it really is a chore,
I’ve even joined a gym and keep going back for more,
I guess the weight problem is down to sedentary jobs,
Oh no someone’s handed me a plate of chocolate Hob Nobs.
It appears the older you get the calorie maths goes quite wrong,
I seem to be eating much, much less but the weight just has not gone,
I run for miles, work on the abs and walk instead of drive,
Oh no it’s Red Nose day, large numbers of pastries have just arrived.