Here, working as teams, allegedly, you would be set a number of tasks over the days to demonstrate how, through cooperation, you could overcome obstacles. Naturally this had never occurred to any of us before, all of us believing that we could, for example, individually build a rocket-ship that would get us to the moon without anybody else's help. These activities did seem to involve getting cold, muddy, wet, exhausted and cross with any number of strangers who'd been sent from other organisations. However they were also very good fun, mostly in the bar in the evening and I'd put my hand up to go on one any time the opportunity arose.
There was one task I thought I was particularly good at and that was crossing the bottomless chasm. For some reason I could always quickly work out how to complete the bridge and, anyway, having done it once, the principles of using a combination of planks/rope/barrels/tin cans/Squeezy bottles and so on was a constant for all the other chasms that were to come my way. My team members were always grateful for being able to complete the task quickly and they generally demonstrated this by not throwing me in the nearest pond.
That is until...
...the day I couldn't do it. I couldn't work out how to cross the fathomless pit. No matter what combination of planks/ropes/barrels or swearing I suggested, or the other team members proposed, we couldn't work it out.
And I learnt this lesson.
Sometimes there is only one answer;
Intelligent capitulation
In other words recognise when it is time to accept that the task can't be done and continuing to attempt it is futile.
The military often use this, I'm told, with their officers to see if they can accept they are not able to complete certain missions and abort the task.
I think I've reached that stage with job hunting.
In 7 months I've not been able to find another job with a salary approaching anywhere near what I was earning. Not surprising - I never really expected to, being firmly of the mind that age discrimination is alive and well but, like the Yeti, you can't actually prove it.
I have accepted this. I have done with applying for CEO of consolidated HeeHaws Inc and the like.
I have set the bar lower, so low in fact, that you barely have to raise your foot to cross it. An arthritic mouse with lead weights tied to its paws could cross the obstacle with ease.
This where it gets interesting, though that's a euphemism for frustrating. Having made the decision I then start to apply for jobs that are advertised with an hourly rate, include evening and weekend working, are part time and so on.
What do I do about my CV?
It shows my senior management experience, it shows working at a high level in an organisation. It shows my academic qualifications (which are quite good) and my continual professional training - also quite good.
I decide to dumb down my CV. Not lie you understand, but omit large elements of it. Does this look suspicious? I don't know but it must look a little odd with the employment details at the end.
And the result?
Van driver - several days a week, local - no reply
Working in a cheese shop - no reply
Office manager - no reply
Book shop - need prior retail experience
Kitchenware shop - must be able to use EPOS and need prior retail experience.
Data input and booking engineer call outs - no reply.
As one quote has it ‘a resume is a marketing tool not your autobiography.’ And, as we know, the sole purpose of a CV is to get an interview. If it achieves that then isn’t it a case of job done, pun intended? Ain't working here either way.
A regularly expressed view on from employment professionals on the web goes along the lines of ‘we don’t approve of dumbing down CVs because it diminishes your value. It’s almost apologetic for being accomplished, clever, educated or good at what you do. You’ve worked hard for what you have achieved and its circumstances outside your control that have impacted on you. Why should you hide those facets that made you so successful and why should you seem to be apologising?’
All well and good but if I used that argument at my grocery store check out instead of offering payment security is likely to be called. We need to earn money.
I have, therefore, decided to 'tailor' my CV more carefully as opposed to dumbing it down. Tailoring it means making it far more aligned to the job basically by being a much blander submission.
I have, therefore, decided to 'tailor' my CV more carefully as opposed to dumbing it down. Tailoring it means making it far more aligned to the job basically by being a much blander submission.
I'm not dumbing down - I'm toning down
Why tone down? Because I don’t want to scare them with my awesomeness is why.
This is not easy. Why? Because my CV is my story; I really don't want a repetitive, mind numbing role entering data onto a screen. I would probably become violent. I want to fly fast jets and travel the world.
Back to planet earth.
I'm am proud of what I've achieved so why shouldn't I showcase my skills and qualifications?
Oh wait, that's because no one seems to want them.
Ha, clearly need to spend more time convincing them they really do want them and will pay me with sacks of gold.
That thing about planet earth...
Per ardua ad astra, through struggle to the stars. That job is out there, I can feel it.
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